I have spent a bit of time re-reading my Blog from August to December last year, from the sadness I felt as Mrs EB went to Brazil, her return, my excitement of going back to Malta and diving again to hearing the worst news ever. How I dealt with the news and how I felt over the first few months. I am really glad I kept this Blog, it has helped me by reading it. I know I don't feel the same now....I felt so numb and I don't feel numb anymore. I don't remember some days at all or where I went, what I did, I think I was just on auto-pilot for most of the time. The feelings I have now are of sadness but I also feel comfort from spending time with my friends who knew Matt and Chris. They often come up in convocation which is really nice. We talk about them and remember their parts in our lives. I don't really cry anymore, I guess that part with me has now moved on, I do still feel that great loss and I guess I will feel that for many, many years.
As September rolls round so quickly, I no doubt I will shed tears and spend time with people who knew and loved those special men. I will share stories and anecdotes, I will laugh a lot and have my heart break again, but that is OK. I have learned this year that a broken heart is a good thing if it is shared with people who love and care for you.
If you do read my blog please pray for the families of Chris and Matt, it doesn’t matter that you don’t know their individual names, God does and he listens to all prayers.