Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
An adult-ed teacher named Robert gave 25 students an impromptu lesson in ordinance safety during class recently. Using opaque reasoning, he figured a 40-mm shell he found on a hunting trip must be inert. Not only did he keep the round, but he used it as a paperweight on his desk. Such a unique decoration would start many interesting conversations, but more notably, it was Robert's ticking ticket to fame.
One day, Robert spotted a bug crawling across his desk. Squash it with a tissue? Sweep it out the door and continue with his lesson? Ignore it to pursue its happy existence? No, instead, Robert picked up the "inert" five-inch shell and slammed it onto the unhappy insect. The impact set off the primer, and the resulting explosion caused severe burns and lacerations to his hand, and shrapnel wounds to his forearms and torso.
No one else in the classroom was hurt.
To Robert's consolation, his actions did succeed in eliminating the bug
A pleasant turn of weather led to an unpleasant ordeal for 2 men, a woman, and a puppy. A sudden sunny day inspired a plan to move a barbecue-in-progress from the lawn to an apartment balcony. But the elevator involved decided to be disagreeabe, and protest the migration between the 4th and 5th floors.
For those who enjoy a barbecue, a whiff of the grill enriches the experience. But in an enclosed, unventilated space, the line between "a whiff" and deadly smoke inhalation soon blurs. Fortunately, the misguided picnickers escaped with only Honorable Mentions, as emergency services swiftly provided oxygen masks to those trapped in the elevator.
The puppy has presumably lost his taste for smoked meat since this ordeal.
This guy pushed his motorcycle from the patio into his living room, where he began to clean the engine with some rags and a bowl of gasoline, all in the comfort of his own home. When he finished, he sat on the motorcycle and decided to give his bike a quick start and make sure everything was still OK. Unfortunately, the bike started in gear, and crashed through the glass patio door with him still clinging to the handlebars.
His wife had been working in the kitchen. She came running at the fearful sound, and found him crumpled on the patio, badly cut from the shards of broken glass. She called 911, and the paramedics carried the unfortunate man to the Emergency Room.
Later that afternoon, after many stitches had pulled her husband back together, the wife brought him home and put him to bed. She cleaned up the mess in the living room, and dumped the bowl of gasoline in the toilet.
Shortly thereafter, her husband woke up, lit a cigarette, and went into the bathroom for a much-needed relief break. He sat down and tossed the cigarette into the toilet, which promptly exploded because the wife had not flushed the gasoline away. The explosion blew the man through the bathroom door.
The wife heard a loud explosion and the terrible sound of her husband's screams. She ran into the hall and found her husband lying on the floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.
The same two paramedics were dispatched to the scene. They loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. One of them asked the wife how the injury had occurred. When she told them, they began laughing so hard that they dropped the stretcher, and broke the guy's collarbone
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time and this should help get you started.
Monday, November 27, 2006
From the master of mirth Ronnie, my dad, I recieved this in an email today it made me titter.
Then as Pixie was leading all of a sudden the desk shorted (an on going problem) and her radio mic started to scream!!!! I was shaking and really upset by the end of the service, and that was only the morning service!!
In the evening after a hearty lunch and a glass or two of the red and a good snooze as Amy and Mrs EB watched the Muppets I felt readyish for the evenings onslaught. (Mrs EB was leading and I really hate anything going wrong when Mrs EB is leading) I double checked everything as we did the rehearsal, what could wrong? Well it was something not even I could have thought of, a CD decides to start where it wants halfway through a verse? I had queued at the start of track 6, it has always played where it is queued from, so why should it do anything different? Stupid me. Then Curly did the taping and the CD of the Sermon wouldn't finalize?
I have never been so glad to get to the Bishop on a Sunday, which again was a really nice time, a pleasant crowd and a good beer, the perfect way to finish off a weekend.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Yes I am in that lot
Friday, November 24, 2006
Opera, just what is needed more Fat women screaming Frank Barone (Everybody loves Raymond)
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. Woody Allen
My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade. Harry Hill
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. Emo Philips
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. Emo Philips
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. Emo Philips
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck. Anonymous
Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. Homer Simpson
Well I have heard that I need to re-record the advert today because there has been a change on the committee today and the new committee or someone new wants something different? It is now 12:15pm but no script has arrived here? Oh well I am sure it will be just fine and the Voice Overs will be available and I will have enough time to finsih the job before it is due on air.
Well I have completely re-recorded the advert and re-mixed it and sent it off, after I got a phone call chasing it up!!!! LOL such fun I have have. I still have no idea if the advert is cleared though, I guess I am the last to know.
STOP PRESSS at 17:22 the notice came that the advert has cleared!!
Oh dear that was another rant sorry .....
On a lighter note
I was woken in the night by a very cold cat wanting a warm arm to lie on, it went something like this:-
A cold wet nose rubbed on my cheek and woke me, I heard a loud purring and Angus chirp, he doesn’t meow much but does make some amazing noises. I then get a paw on my cheek, so I raise my arm out of the bed he purrs so loudly I though the neighbours would hear him, I put my arm on the duvet and Angus goes over to it and lies down and goes to sleep within 10 seconds, me I am left wide awake for a good hour!!!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Here’s a common scene, someone has recorded a telephone call onto a cassette or whatever media they recorded it onto, and they “Go to the Lab” a boffin in a white coat? Tweaks it for 30 seconds, then the PC or Detective will go can we just hear just the background noise, I think it’s a bloke with a limp walking past whistling something? And hey presto from a mixed piece of audio we now have a multi tracked piece of audio all recorded separately sounding as clear as anything?
Now when I record music and I record all the individual elements; I can then “Solo” one instrument (listen to just that item) If I buy a CD of music I can’t do that, even in my studio, I don’t have the component parts, it’s a finished mixed track, if I record a Telephone call, (illegal by the way without full permission from both parties or without a home office warrant) it is a mixed piece of audio even with the greatest knowledge in the world and the best equipment what they show on TV cannot be done, you cannot remove 1 frequency without removing everything else that is actually on that frequency, In the same way you cannot remove the eggs and flour from a baked cake, so to have just the bloke walking and whistling you would have to have recorded it separately!!!!! I am not saying I know everything about recording and how to do everything, but I do know what is actually possible to achive in the real world.
1. Eating Out
2. Going out for the day with Sheley
3. Going to the Theatre
4. Going for a beer
5. Having a BBQ
Again in no particular order I am game for any of them at anytime.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Every year my Parents get Shelagh and I the perfect Christmas present, it is from Donald Russell, it is a meat Hamper Mmmmmmm meat. This year we have just received this years hamper it is two prime cuts of Venison...yes Venison some Wild Scotish Deer for Christmas. 2 amazing cuts a Fillet and a French cut rib joint. (I don't think Heidi will want any)
Angus helping when the hamper arrives
I am Still helping I am
Angus really wanted to get inside the hamper so I had to remove him
“I’m sorry,” he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, “but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday…”
“Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.”
Monday, November 20, 2006
Now the telebalnce unit was being a pain when I went early, it wouldn’t work, I had tested it Friday, but Sunday morning no joy. I prayed over it changed the fuse and it worked. It then turned off again!!!!! I changed the extension lead and it worked fine. Aimee was a star interviewing the Mission Kids and partners and that part of the service was excellent.
The other bit well. I don’t do "on the platform" at church. I stay behind the desk and do the sound and technical stuff. That is my gifting. So during the week my "Friend" Ed asked me if I would help out I said yes!!!
He asked if I would make him some pre-recorded news items..no problem. Then a script arrives… I am playing Davina to Ed’s Edwina. So from not doing stuff upfront I am now playing a transvestite. Ho hummmmm no wonder I am scared!!! I think it went down well I wouldn’t say I enjoyed doing it, but I did have some fun. I did get a few comments all good, and one offer of a date.
I have pinched this off Aimee's blog.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
I then had a call off the lovely Heidi to say she would like to pick me up!!!! Woooohooooo she drove me to Essen and then to hers, I changed some light bulbs and took up a threshold gripper rod. I then had to pop back to Church via Soundlogic to pick up a telebalance unit (it lets you put telephone calls through a mixing desk)..I got good old Taxi Heidi to take me and then home again as I needed some connectors from my studio. I then drove back to church and set it all up and tested it.
Shelagh went out to see Casino Royale last night I had a quiet night in with a few chocolates and my laptop.
Today we went into Birmingham along with everyone else in the world it felt like, we even bumped into Karen, Ed(wina), Shazney and Jonah (mmm thanks for the Donuts) we got a free Johnny Walker which was nice. The shops where just so full it was urghhh, anyhooo a nice quiet evening in with a coal fire a DVD and some nice snackz and then Church in the morning.
Friday, November 17, 2006
David Fearn is now known as James Dr No From Russia With Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty's Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live And Let Die The Man With The Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View To A Kill The Living Daylights Licence To Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond
The 23-year-old council worker told The Daily Mirror he wanted to prove he was one of the world's biggest Bond fans.
"I can't wait for the first time somebody asks what my name is," he said
A new generation of superheroes is on its way to save the world - thanks to mums and dads who are film fanatics. Records have shown two boys born in recent years have been named Superman. And six youngsters now answer to the name of Gandalf, after the wizard in The Lord Of The Rings. Other proud parents, presumably inspired by the silky football of Thierry Henry, have called their children Arsenal. Keira Knightley: Popular. Three families have named sons David Beckham - and 29 have named theirs Gazza. Golf-mad dads have apparently had their say too, with nearly 2,000 children named Tiger, according to the research of birth certificates since 1984 by family history website findmypast.com. Rap stars Dr Dre, Tupac, Jay-Z and even Snoop Dogg have had children named after them. More predictably there have also been more than 6,000 Kieras - reflecting the rise of actress Kiera Knightley. Kylie is still a more popular name for girls, however, with more than 7,000 born in the past 22 years.
My Dad has a name the these sort of people and if you ask me nicley I may just tell you.
Afterwards I came home and a Job was waiting for me from London, which was excellent news, it also meant I could kill 2 birds with one stone!!!! Ed has written a sketch for Sundays service which needs a News reader sort of thing in it 3 times so I got the VO who was doing my advert to read it for me a favour. He really did a fantastic job it sounds very real. I have a small part to play on Sunday, but I am not saying what it is, if you don’t come along you will never know, and you will miss out.
Then it was a Church meeting, a very interesting meeting about the building project. I also recieved some photo's on my phone from a Reindeer at a Cliff concert, I hope he does a blog about it.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Then onto Mrs Freelancenerds…yes for the delivery of the two sofas that she was in no way having as they are leather!!! They look fantastic in her living room. Mr Freelancenerd had moved the amp and speakers into the back room earlier in the year for his laptop and Mrs FN wasn’t too sure how to rewire it all back up…I guess if I couldn’t do it there would be a few big smacks.
I watched Torchwood last night ….this is a cracking show…full of SFX good scripts and dark humour with an adult theme, well done BBC I say.
A few of my top Albums
1. Tubular Bells - Mike Oldfield
2. Bat Out of Hell - Meatloaf
3. SGT Peppers Lonely Heart Club Band - The Beatles
4. Pet Sounds - Beach Boys
5. Simon and Garfunkel Live at Central Park
6. Devotion / Adoration The Newsboys
7. Live at Leeds – The Who
8. Graceland - Paul Simon
9. In my life – George Martin
To choose a top 10 albums is far to hard as I love music and my tastes change with my mood these are just albums that get played a heck of a lot here on my IPod.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
1. Balti (anysort) with Chilli and Garlic Nann
Again in no preference or order it all depends on the mood I am in
Monday, November 13, 2006
We popped to the Bishop and had a wonderful time , it was a big turnout and they always make for a good laugh, though by the time we left I was in a bit of pain. We stopped off for some food, a Chinese to share. I know Chinese isn’t the best for a bad stomach…I don’t care, the food in the Bishop is at best reheated cardboard…
so I had Chinese. Unfortunately I didn’t really get much sleep as the cramps and pains thought they would talk to me through the night, this is when Cats come into their own, I got up to pay a visit at around 2am, both cats where asleep on the bed. Purring and snoring away, I get up and then comeback, cats have vanished? I get into bed, stick on some headphones listen to a bit of Sci-Fi on BBC7 Bammm Bammmm two cats land on my upset stomach from off the floor. Both meowing, purring and wanting fuss I am holding back the tears of pain as they are now trying to walk over Mrs EB and wake her. I get them off Mrs EB and near or on me and settled down and sleeping and yes I am up again…It was like a perpetual cycle last night, no wonder cats sleep all day.
Anyhooo that was yesterday, ….Today is a new day and the start of a new working week.
I have nothing in or planned for the week, so God I am all yours.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Saturday, November 11, 2006
So I go home and Mrs EB and I go to Star City and la Tasca for tea. All in all a enjoyable and busy day.
Again these are in no particular order and if they where put in my hand I would relish anyone of them.
You will see no Nestle product is there, as I try never to buy or eat Nestle Products due to their baby milk sales in the 3rd world and unfair trading of coffee and cocoa beans, and no Galaxy chocolate as I think it tastes very slimey and awful.
Friday, November 10, 2006
I saw the Catherine Tate show last night and found some of it very funny the one bit really did make me laugh, I don’t know the characters name, it’s the Am I Bovvered one anyhooo.
Well she is in a burger bar and her boy boyfriend has asked her to go steady or marry her, I am still not sure, but she said yes, and it was a joke…. So you can guess, her friend is being sympathetic and she's all... Am I bovvered? ….
Then she goes:-..... Look at my face..bovvered..NO!!…Do you read with your fingers? Do you listen to Books? Is your Dad David Blunket? Can you walk your dog in Marks and Spencer? I didn’t hear the rest I was laughing to loudly.
Anyhoo to make Ed happy I thought I would do a list of my favourite current TV shows
1. The Bill (ITV)
2. Dr G Medical Examiner (Discovery H&L)
3. Mythbusters (Discovery)
4. American Chopper (Discovery)
5. The Simpsons (SkyOne)
6. The First 48 (Discovery Crime)
7. Everybody Loves Raymond (Paramount Comedy)
8. Torchwood (BBC3/BBC2)
9. King of Queens (Paramount Comedy)
10. FBI Files (Discovery)
Now they are in no relevant order as it depends on the mood I am in.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Anyhoo this has got me to thinking seriously about Heaven will I go to Heaven? just what is heaven, is it fluffy clouds and people sitting on them playing harps…I hope not as Chris and Matt would deafen everyone up there…is heaven up there? If not where is it?
A few/quite a few years ago I was at a seminar on Revelation’s where the speaker, I can’t remember his name now, said that Heaven would be here on earth when everything was completed and the final battle had taken place? I don’t know, that was his interpretation on Revelation? My interpretation is, God has already made Heaven, and it is waiting for us, everyone will wake up and be given new bodies on judgement day and we the faithful will be called to Glory, or do we go the moment we are taken from this life? Time is only a concept that we have put on things? God does things in his own time so I don’t know? There will be no suffering only love and worship in Heaven, we will be with our God and loved ones and know them and share that eternal time with them we will meet those that went before us and those that will come after us. I could be completely wrong, I guess there is only way we will know, and by then we won’t care, as we will hopefully with God’s grace be in Heaven or will I?...
It seems kind of daft writing this. It is just bugging me, I have been woken quite a few times by the question what is after this life, are we here then not is heaven real if it is will I go? I guess Satan is trying to undermine my faith and writing it down is helping to confirm my belief in God and strengthening it. Seeing/feeling my life rocked like this, and finding worship virtually impossible at the moment is scary. I have been a Christian for 20 years now, and up until this point I have never questioned the basics, I have taken those for granted. I still do I guess, Christ Lived, Christ Died and Christ rose again. But I have so many questions, but I just don’t know what they all are, or who to ask? I don’t want to seem like an idiot with basic questions on my faith having been a Christian for so many years. I know the basic answers it’s the deep theological answers I am after I think? I think I need to speak to someone I respect as a Christian, but then I don’t want to come across as a complete idiot?
I spoke to a friend who is a adamant Calvinist and I just thought, no that is so wrong! What’s the point of evangelism if you are a Calvinist? He said because you have to tell everyone but only those who are already saved will be saved? So I said if they are already saved they don’t need saving? I really do get myself in a state sometimes. I just can’t believe in pre-destination, more so since the accident.
I am quiet confused as this suggests. I know some answers but I am still confused with things like, I am saved, it says so in the Bible, so if I am saved and I know I am saved, why then am I not certain I am going to Heaven? Because it also says I must lead a good life and do things like be evangelical and Christ like, which makes Heaven conditional? I am just a ordinary bloke who falls every day. I don’t burn with a passion to tell everybody about Christ, I don’t help everyone who needs help who I see, in fact I even avoid some people. I am selfish and materialistic, I like the nice things in life I even enjoy occasionally getting drunk and I love eating even over eating.(that last one’s a real shocker)
I am not expecting answers here, it is just cathartic to write down my thoughts and feelings. I know the answers to my questions will come when I ask the right person/people. I just need to be prayerful to find who the right person is.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Monday I took Heidi into Birmingham as she had a meeting, so I did a little window shopping (no not for windows) but for jeans, I couldn’t find any I like, then Heidi and I went and did a little shopping, by the time we had finished I was shattered.
Tuesday was a day I did some paper work and did some pricing for some work for Simon in Kenya, in the evening was a curry quiz night, a wonderful evening, Dr Spooner was amazing, I could listen to David talk all night, our team of 3 did the first 7 rounds then David joined us for the last 3 rounds we came 3rd...not bad as the teams that beat us had 6 and 8 in them.
Today I was at hospital getting seen by a consultant Dr Singh, I have to go back again in January. That’s about it really, bit boring but I guess that’s life.
Monday, November 06, 2006
I have Reindeer Flu and have been dosed up on cough/flu medication, so I have only had the odd glass of wine or tinny of beer. Though I had a wonderful if not cold time.
Lou, Martin, Heidi and Dom
Amy Viv, Steve and Big Al
Saturday was spent preparing for Sat Evening, a top time with friends here at our house/garden for a fireworkless party, but as our garden is well placed and the decking is up high we got to see hundreds of them for free. The food was well eaten and not much was left, and a good time was had.
Having FUN FUN FUN
Dave, Skip, Andi and Phil enjoing a chat
Shelagh enjoying her sparkler
Sunday... was Church, mmmm The morning was excellent it was a Parade service and was about Bible Explorers and was a top service, the evening was Tommy Cannon and Chris Gidney. Tommy Cannon was a famous comedian with Bobby Ball in the 70’s and early 80’s . He and Chris sort of told his story, it could have been excellent with scripting and a little rehearsal, I was there from 4:30 for this purpose? Tommy Cannon got lost with Sat Nav so that didn’t happen. Chris did a little comedy(?) First as a warm up and told the worst jokes(?) Ever finishing with a card with a naff drawing of a black baby that was supposed to be Shirley Bassey??? Would have been great in the 1960’s . Then Cannon came out and started well, and went on to slag off the Church, Vicars and Amy and her nice new cardie? How to win friends and influence people? Amy and music group did a wonderful job and sang a wonderful song to lead us into worship...shame it went downhill after the guests came on.
It's a Firework Pixie
Would you trust this man to set and light Fireworks?
Julia enjoying the Fireworks
Then onto Aaron’s for fireworks... a nice end to the evening/weekend watching some fireworks with friends, Aaron and Martin setting them off and us watching to see if they were going to blow us/themselves and the garden up.
Did that "JOKE" and "THAT WORD" really come out of her sweet mouth?
All in all a great weekend, now I need to get some more cough syrup doon me neck.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Anyhooo feeling a little better with loads of medication. I have made the chilli and collected the sausages for the Chillidogs, Mrs EB has tested the Chilli and said it is good to go. I’ll test it tomorrow afternoon once it has rested.
Apart from that not much has happened apart from having some big cuddles with the cats. Well I thought I would let you see me over my formative years:-
Me aged 8 months old
(the first and only time I have played with a football)
Me aged 18 months
Me aged 8 years
Thursday, November 02, 2006
An Ibis on Sanibel Beach