Saturday, December 30, 2006

I am bloody angry at the so called Western 1st World leaders.

I cannot believe on the last day of 2006 that people today think it is right and proper to hang someone for their crimes?
Am I in a minority who thinks taking a life is not fair justice? I know Saddam Hussein was an evil tyrant who murdered thousands and reined in terror over the people of Iraq. Putting him to death will solve nothing. There will still be civil war there, the electric still won’t work and crime will still be rife and he is now dead, what has it achieved? When he was alive and in prison there was a slight hope of him being redeemed, a tiny chance he would come to accept what he did was wrong. Today I am totally p*ssed off that George Bush, Margaret Beckett and other world politicians have condoned this action by saying Saddam has been “Held to Account” How the heck can he be held to account when he is dead? (and these people are in charge of our countries and world.)

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

As this year draws to a close I have been thinking about what this year has meant to me;

The year started off quite badly as my studio had gone bang and all of my savings had gone on a new Mac. I was suffering with very bad depression and very bad migraines. Someone at Church via a call from Mrs EB talked with me for many hours over the next few weeks/months and saw me through it. I also spent many hours talking with Matt about a way forward with my Company and Matt kindly re-did my website to look more professional and have a simple yet friendly look. Between us I honestly we did achieved it.

At around Easter time I did a mass mail out and got nowhere, I did a mass email out and the same!!! Then my friend Simon mentioned that one of the producers for his group was off ill and he would push work my way if he could. Then some work came from Kenya (not the easiest to get money out of though) London started giving me some work!!! Now it sounds like I am busy!!!! The truth is I am not. I get maybe one or two jobs a month from London, Simon has moved to Kenya, and his old group only passed work for a 6 weeks. I get very little from Kenya (not Simon someone else) And come the New Year I have to look long and hard at what to do and a way forward?

Mrs EB went to Brazil on mission with Church for three weeks in July / August and this was the strangest time really, I am used to Mrs EB being away for the odd overnight with work, but not for 3 weeks!!! I had a few invites for tea/lunch which was very nice. Matt and I went out for a few beers and the odd curry, Ian and I went out for a few beers and the odd curry. I also had my birthday whist Mrs EB was away, and I organised a curry!!!(can you see a theme here?) It was a great night and many friends turned out, including Chris and Matt, I still have the birthday cards sent by both. When Mrs EB returned we got ready to go Malta with 3 friends diving.

This was when I learned of the accident, and when I started blogging most days, before that Matt I blogged off and on, on a few blogs and chatted online via MSN and Skype. Some of those are on here in the archive and also some are saved on my old blog again a link on here.

I have found writing how I feel quite therapeutic and a way of expressing my feeling over the past months as I come to terms with all my feelings and my faith. (not really my faith, more how I understand my faith)
I may well stop blogging soon when I feel I have sorted my feelings and my head, until then I will keep updating as and when.
I don’t actually know who reads my blog apart from a few friends at Church and the odd person who may stumble across it. But that is OK. I am doing it for me, but if you read it and leave a comment thank you.

Anyway I will be back when I have a something to say or a joke to share or a photo or two to put up, what do you think Pixie?

God Bless and a very Happy New Year, English Blogger

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Some end of year humour

This time of the year the news papers are full of rubbish, this was on a News Papers website for the stupidest phone calls of the year, well the made me laugh so I thought I would share them with you.

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the travel centre".
Operator: "They're our opening hours".

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "In the user guide it clearly states I need to unplug the fax machine from the wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Can you give me his number?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".

Caller: Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: " Doesn't the name of the product give you a clue?"

Caller: "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

Caller: "I''d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B fell off".

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That''s what it says on the label: Woven in Scotland".

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I''m steaming up the window to write the number on".

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK" .
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No" .
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No" .
Tech Support: "OK. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Christmas and all that

Christmas Eve was a very busy and good day, it was spent at Church as most Sundays, the morning service was amazing. I loved Chamberlin the camel. The evening service was a carol and candle service which was very beautiful. Chris's family had sent a table centre piece which was placed on the communion table and was very special I was moved to tears a few times.
After the service 8 of us went for a Indian meal at Cafe Garden. It was really nice to eat and relax with friends and just enjoy some down time.

Christmas Day was a really nice day and saw 2 special guests arrive on the sound desk, yes none other than Robbie and Rudolph, though Rudolph only stayed for 5 minutes Robbie enjoyed the view for the service.

I always love the Christmas day service at Church, it is just one of those services that are always fun, loud and full of joy. It was tinged with some sadness, but over all a wonderful family day.
Once home I cooked the Christmas Dinner, Venison. Boy oh boy was it tasty!!!

Both Mrs EB and I really enjoyed it. Afterwards and once the dishwasher was loaded, a fire lit and we both had a glass of Red we opened our presents, a big thank you so much for your presents to us, they were all so thoughtful and special. That isn’t meant to be cheesy!

I have to mention one present from Mrs EB it is a NEW Beatles album!!! Called LOVE. I have a few hero's one of them is Sir George Martin. He produced The Beatles, and was asked by Cirque du Soleil if he could do something with The Beatles music? Well after 2 years and help from his son Giles this album is now available.

With LOVE, Cirque du Soleil celebrates the musical legacy of The Beatles

Born from a personal friendship and mutual admiration between the late George Harrison and Cirque founder Guy Laliberté, LOVE brings the magic of Cirque du Soleil together with the spirit and passion behind the most beloved rock group of all time to create a vivid, intimate and powerful entertainment experience.
LOVE evokes the exuberant and irreverent spirit of The Beatles, as interpreted through the youthful, urban energy of a cast of 60 international artists. Using the master tapes at Abbey Road studios, Sir George Martin and Giles Martin have created a unique soundscape of The Beatles music for LOVE. The custom-built theatre at The Mirage features 360° seating, panoramic video projections and surround sound which will envelop the audience, who will experience The Beatles music like never before...

The Album is amazing. I am totally blown away by it. It is a flowing album, every track is segued and the new mixes are just mind blowing. It is a sort of new Sergeant Peppers, but that would limit it. If you like The Beatles it is a must have album!!!

Now I really want to see the show

Saturday, December 23, 2006

A late entry for to Pull Santa’s Sleigh

Though as Jo is a tad young I think Ben should lead and Jo just be there for cuteness and strength, So keep those votes coming in on Teapots blog

Christmas Eve -1 ;-)

Every year we get a Christmas card from Boldmere Churches Together, letting us know what services are taking place over Christmas. I looked at the card and thought sweet picture. Mrs EB looked at it and then looked on the back and saw who had drawn it!!!!

None other Ruebun and Ester's daughter!!!!! Isobel what a star!!!! By far the best drawn card ever I say!!!!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Harry Potter, work and quiet nights in

I am a very big Harry Potter fan, I much prefer the books to the films, though I have enjoyed the films as well. Today JK Rowling announced the title of the 7th and final book in the series “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.” When this will be finished who knows, but I am guessing mid 07 with a publishing date of mid December for the Christmas market…

Oh yes you can buy an adult edition of these books, it isn’t just the cover that is different
Today has been different!! I went to do a location record, and met Philtheus. It was an interesting project which I enjoyed greatly. Then back home to edit it, and wait patiently for a job to arrive from London. At the time of writing I am still waiting…ho hummm.

Last night I was going to have a quiet night in, a bit of food, a bottle of Red and the TV, The Bill was on then Torchwood. As I settled in with a nice log fire the doorbell went, it was Mrs EB’s brother, a nice surprise, I poured him a glass of vino and we had a chat he had come to drop off some presents from relatives, always nice. Anyhoo he left,The Bill came on, I was there for the night total bliss …the phone goes, it is Mr Hudson the coffee shop owner….With a “Where do you live again on Jockey Road?” so I poured him a glass and waited for the doorbell. I never did get to watch The Bill after the first set of adverts or any of Torchwood, oh well, they were both nice surprise visits and it really was a wonderful surprise to see Mr Hudson again and catch up.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Some Christmas Humour?

Not from Ronnie this time but a friend in Spain, I have omitted the very bad/disgusting/dubious ones

Well they made me chuckle a little, and I think Mrs FLN will like the last one...

Monday, December 18, 2006

A new week

Sorry I haven’t posted much over the last few days, a couple of reasons:

I have been up to my ears in busyness, Cabaret and sound at Church, I have also been feeling quite ill, with an ear infection and have had between 0% to 60% hearing in one ear and I have been constantly dizzy and trying not to throw up most of Weds and Friday, Thursday was a complete no go day. Saturday I just felt so grotty and ill, but “The Show” had to go on. Sunday I started to feel a little better and did the recording and Today I feel awful again. I have decided if I feel that ill again I will just say I can’t do stuff even at short notice, there are others about who could do it I am sure. I really want that sort of Outreach to be right and sound the best it can and be as professional as it can be. But I must start looking after myself, It is going to take my body weeks to recover as I don’t recover as fast as most people and that isn’t fair on Mrs EB or myself…

Well enough of my misery and woes here is another Ronnie Joke to Start the week off with.
A Safari
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in South Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost.
Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says."Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
Moral of this story....Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!
Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.

Saturday, December 16, 2006


The first of the cabaret was lastnight and went well. Tonights is the big one at SCBC.

If you have a few seconds to spare read the story, not very interesting then read the comments that readers have put, it has to be one the best reads for ages Pigeons. Enjoy

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


Well I didn’t get too much sleep last night as the pain was pushing me to the limit, but when I did sleep and then awoke my ear was a little better, so thank you for the prayers. I am really annoyed because my parents are coming to the Cabaret and they are bringing guests and my ear is playing up (grrrrrrr)!!!! how ironic? But I am really Praying that all these small steps will lead to them coming to a service soon, so I really want to be on top form and make this Cabaret the best yet. So I am being attacked....I think someone is scared we are making an impact on my parents...

I am taking things easy today, though I am going shopping with Mrs FLN for a bit of urgent Christmas Shopping!!! I need to get something for Mrs EB to open on Christmas day or I might just be living in the Cat pen on Boxing Day, maybe I could get her some leadblack for the Yorkshire puddings? (read Timelords blog for full story)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Re: Calling all would be REINDEER! from Teapots Blog

There you are Mrs Teapot, Angus Santa's new big helper

The phones arrived at 7am yesterday morning!!!! Mrs EB received them, lol, I was still asleep. Anyhooo both phones are very sexy and nice. I have swapped most things over on to my new phone, the one thing it won’t let me swap over are my Texts. I am very sad about that as I have two TXT’s from Matt and I did want to keep them. I am sure I will work out what to do.. Shelagh's phone is also a PDA so its going to take her a few hours to work how it all works.
I have also finished the music quiz x2 for Mission Team Leader, I am just awaiting her approval and her answers... apart from that not much has happened.
Oh beggar!!!!
Every now and again I get an eczema in my ears, well today is that lucky day, yeeehar I was on the phone to the Doc's and got some antibiotic spray, I am in a heck of a lot of pain...please pray for me as its the Cabaret on Friday and Saturday, rehearsal Wednesday...

Monday, December 11, 2006

Well that was an interesting weekend.

Saturday was spent sharing a Golden wedding with two great people from our Church, it really is wonderful to see people still very much in love after 50 years. We came home after and shared a curry and watched a horror film called The Ring, the problem was it was an old DVD and it kept sticking…then the last 2 mins wouldn’t play!!!!! Got a refund from Blockbusters!!!

Sunday morning was different, Jimmy Cricket another comedian from the 70’s and 80’s came to Church, he did a routine for 30 minutes, it was very corny but also very funny, the juggling in styles was excellent. Though when interviewed he didn’t really give anything away…very good service though, Mark lead and Rev D spoke so well again. Afterwards we went to my parents for Sunday dinner, Mary from Spain was there and we shared some great food and laughs. Mmmmm Roast Beef and Apple and Raspberry pie, oh so tasty.

The evening service was taken by Mission Team Leader and was about the feeding of the 5000 and giving things over to God…an excellent service though I did giggle in a couple places because of certain people around the building. Afterwards in the Bishop it was a very big crowd, and so wonderful to see so many people, I didn't get to chat to everyone, though I did chat with Martin's dad which was really nice.
During both services I was trying a new recording system. Recording Via PC to Adobe Audition I had a few teething problems, which is OK it was the first of four Sundays to set it up. I was very happy by the end of Sunday evenings service, a few more tweaks but I think it is the way forward.

Friday, December 08, 2006


They were together in the House

Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance....and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.

She wanted that...more than anything .

Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out....

She screamed...

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering. He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.

He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back.

He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged did their growing passion. And there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together. They knew it was wrong... Their families would never understand... So consumed were they in their passion that they heard no opening of doors...just the faint click of a camera......

Mobile Phones

Well it has come to pass that my Mobile phone is now to be retired. I phoned the people at O2 and said I want to cancel my account with you and go back to T Mobile. "Oh we don't want you to go, Mr EB please stay, " She said. "I know, we will up the amount of texts you can do for free from 25 to 300 and we will let you talk for free for an extra 50 minutes a month and we will cut your bill £10 a month, also Mr EB you can choose some now phones for Mrs EB and yourself."

Ohh that’s nice I thought, choosing a nice phone from the website for Mrs EB that would let her edit Outlook and her diary...and choosing one that I can keep in my pocket without dialling some poor person again and again, sorry if I did this to you with my last but one phone. Anyhooo the upshot is I am stuck at home today and Monday; I am unable to go out as TNT are delivering the phones today or Monday, they couldn't tell me which....arggghhhhhh.
Oh well it is giving me the chance to do Miss Mission Team Leaders music quiz's for the Cabaret.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

A couple of Ronnie Jokes

I thought I would pass on a few more jokes from Ronnie my Dad.

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes when a large, blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?"
The ventriloquist looks on in amazement. "It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community," she continued, "and of reaching my full potential as a person because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize. The blonde interjects, "You stay out of this, mister. I'm talking to that little guy on your knee!"

Test for Dementia

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly.
You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are....
(scroll down)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!
If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to mess up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
(scroll down)
If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again.
Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic!
This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.....
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary.
Read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!
Have a nice day everyone.

Blue Man Show

In early January Mrs EB and I are going down to London again to see a show and stop over and do a little sight seeing. We are going to see The Blue Man Show, you may have seen these guys doing an advert for Pentium a couple of year ago. I am really looking forward to seeing the show they do all sorts of things a sort of Stomp meets something that has lots of lights and clever things. I also want to go to the Tower again (No clever remarks about being kept in please Timelord) I last went there when I was about 7 with Little Sutton Junior School.

We are down there for a few days, so any ideas for two tourists, but nothing that goes up in the air like the london eye please, big poof here who doesn't do hights.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Another rant.

Some things in life I don’t get, I really do not understand?

Like how someone can be cruel to an animal, I eat meat, I enjoy it, and if push came to shove I would kill a say rabbit to eat. I wouldn’t torment it, I wouldn't chase it for miles so it is almost scared to death as a sport. I would use a snare to trap it then quickly kill it or if I had a gun I would shoot it in the field. If I kept chickens and a fox was worrying them I shoot the fox in the same way if I was keeping sheep and a dog worried them again I would shoot it. I would feel awful afterwards but I would protect my livelihood.
I was listening to Otis Ferry, the spoilt brat son of Bryan Ferry, saying how he hates the new anti-hunting law and he will not obey it, he has already been in contempt of court for storming the House of Commons, and is up for drink driving in January (what a nice young chappie he is). He is master of hounds at a hunt, so it is his hunt! I for one hope he filmed doing his deed and sent to jail, he thinks because his dad famous and has money he can do what he wants. Maybe 6 months with Mr I-Like-Nice-Posh-Boys as his cell mate will change his views on life, lets see how he likes being chased for sport.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I don't know how I feel about Christmas this year?

Mrs EB's mother won’t be joining us as is the norm, so it will be just the two of us for dinner. A nice quiet afternoon of food, drink and presents. I never spent Christmas with Chris or Matt though seeing people at Church Christmas day is always a fun thing...all in new jumpers and socks...We don't open presents here until after dinner and the washing up is done, the fire is lit and a large Red Wine or brandy is in my hand.

Christmas is a time for family and friends, so feeling rather sad is part of this year’s Christmas, I am sad for Heidi and Stephen, Viv and Al and for Chris's family, but I am also sad for Mrs EB as She would probably be singing with Chris over the Christmas period, and I know doubt I would be mixing it, I would have gone for a curry or two the both and shared more than a beer or two. I will enjoy Christmas and the cabarets but I will also shed a tear or two and raise a glass to two friends who I miss very much.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Don't Drink and Drive this Christmas

........and IF you laugh at this you're bad !!!

Friday, December 01, 2006

December 1st today…December isn’t my favourite month by a long shot, it is cold, wet and the shops get far too busy and people get very grumpy. Also my big pet hate is Xmas….I really do hate Xmas it makes me go Grrrrrrrrrrr “Put Christ back in Christmas” and leave him there.

Oh yes some very good News today

From July 1st 2007 I will be a little happier it has been revealed that from that date Smoking in enclosed spaces in England and Wales will be banned not August 2007 as originally stated.
Being an Ex- Smoker (we are always the worst) I really hate going into a pub or restaurant and coming home and smelling like an ashtray. Sometimes friends will go to a different pub than the Bishop (a non-smoking pub) and I usually say no. I just don’t want to go home put my clothes in for washing and have a shower to get that stench out of my hair (yeah, yeah, yeah) and off my body. Well from July 1st I will be able to go to any pub or restaurant and be in comfort. What really gets me angry is the smokers who say well there is a no smoking area…Smoke isn’t that clever, it travels where it wants, also the smoking area is usually by the bar, (smokers can’t walk that far) so I have to walk through the smokers to sit down or fetch a new drink.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

I have a migraine!!! Nothing new there, I get them off and on and have had them since I was about 16. This one is slightly different though. It has been in the background for about a week, then Wednesday night pounced like a cat and made me quite ill throughout the night and most of yesterday. Normally I am much better the next day, but no not with this beggar I am still feeling naff and quiet sick.
I try to carry on as much as I can with migraines, sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t. This migraine is different to ones I have had before, it is effecting my hearing!!! I am not hearing clearly, much to Mrs EB’s amusement. It is also making me very sick and has upset my stomach which is a real pain. So that means my day is planned for me, the odd cup of tea and bed rest unless any work comes in.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Darwin Awards

One of my regular trips into cyberspace is a visit to "The Darwin Awards." If you do not know about them, they are the people who are living on the edge of reality, they think they are never going to be it, they are the one who can actually do the impossible. Matt and I would often laugh at this site and the people mentioned. I have only just been able to visit this site again, as it does have a lot of memories for me with Matt and some amazing comments, of course you usually only get mention if you do something so stupid it kills you. Here are a few who get Honourable Mentions, so they live to tell another tale, and just maybe get the message.

An adult-ed teacher named Robert gave 25 students an impromptu lesson in ordinance safety during class recently. Using opaque reasoning, he figured a 40-mm shell he found on a hunting trip must be inert. Not only did he keep the round, but he used it as a paperweight on his desk. Such a unique decoration would start many interesting conversations, but more notably, it was Robert's ticking ticket to fame.

One day, Robert spotted a bug crawling across his desk. Squash it with a tissue? Sweep it out the door and continue with his lesson? Ignore it to pursue its happy existence? No, instead, Robert picked up the "inert" five-inch shell and slammed it onto the unhappy insect. The impact set off the primer, and the resulting explosion caused severe burns and lacerations to his hand, and shrapnel wounds to his forearms and torso.
No one else in the classroom was hurt.
To Robert's consolation, his actions did succeed in eliminating the bug

A pleasant turn of weather led to an unpleasant ordeal for 2 men, a woman, and a puppy. A sudden sunny day inspired a plan to move a barbecue-in-progress from the lawn to an apartment balcony. But the elevator involved decided to be disagreeabe, and protest the migration between the 4th and 5th floors.
For those who enjoy a barbecue, a whiff of the grill enriches the experience. But in an enclosed, unventilated space, the line between "a whiff" and deadly smoke inhalation soon blurs. Fortunately, the misguided picnickers escaped with only Honorable Mentions, as emergency services swiftly provided oxygen masks to those trapped in the elevator.
The puppy has presumably lost his taste for smoked meat since this ordeal.

If you have never visited "The Darwin Awards" it is a place that has some stories that will make you gasp with total disbelief, and some that will make you laugh your socks off, and one or two will actually make you feel sorry like this one.

This guy pushed his motorcycle from the patio into his living room, where he began to clean the engine with some rags and a bowl of gasoline, all in the comfort of his own home. When he finished, he sat on the motorcycle and decided to give his bike a quick start and make sure everything was still OK. Unfortunately, the bike started in gear, and crashed through the glass patio door with him still clinging to the handlebars.

His wife had been working in the kitchen. She came running at the fearful sound, and found him crumpled on the patio, badly cut from the shards of broken glass. She called 911, and the paramedics carried the unfortunate man to the Emergency Room.

Later that afternoon, after many stitches had pulled her husband back together, the wife brought him home and put him to bed. She cleaned up the mess in the living room, and dumped the bowl of gasoline in the toilet.

Shortly thereafter, her husband woke up, lit a cigarette, and went into the bathroom for a much-needed relief break. He sat down and tossed the cigarette into the toilet, which promptly exploded because the wife had not flushed the gasoline away. The explosion blew the man through the bathroom door.

The wife heard a loud explosion and the terrible sound of her husband's screams. She ran into the hall and found her husband lying on the floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.

The same two paramedics were dispatched to the scene. They loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. One of them asked the wife how the injury had occurred. When she told them, they began laughing so hard that they dropped the stretcher, and broke the guy's collarbone
OK I fibbed it may have made you laugh, I know both Matt and I did.

Yet another Ronnie Email

The Bathtub Test

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug.

Monday, November 27, 2006

A little Joke

From the master of mirth Ronnie, my dad, I recieved this in an email today it made me titter.

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles ontheir faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them his results after the examination.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
"Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner,"this is the most unusual one. Paddy from Belfast, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken."

Sunday..Just what is the matter?

Well yesterday was a Sunday and I was on sound...something I really enjoy doing and it is a way I give to God. I hated yesterday!!! I went early to set up my Mini-disk player for some SFX for Pixie who was leading the morning service. (A fantastic job she did as well). At the start of the service Rev D did the notices... then into a Prayer, just as Rev D started the prayer the batteries went on my MD player, so the programming was lost and it fired off the first SFX!!! the got it wrong (uhhhurrrrr) from Family Fortunes. I managed to drop all the sound in less than a second, but not before I heard titters and Yankee Doodle's Boss came to see what had happened, with a good effort for the sfx in a prayer. I was then trying to re-sort all the desk and MD player and missed putting up Amy's and Mrs EB's mic's for a song during the offering even after both of them begged me not to do that, I felt so awful for letting them down.

Then as Pixie was leading all of a sudden the desk shorted (an on going problem) and her radio mic started to scream!!!! I was shaking and really upset by the end of the service, and that was only the morning service!!

In the evening after a hearty lunch and a glass or two of the red and a good snooze as Amy and Mrs EB watched the Muppets I felt readyish for the evenings onslaught. (Mrs EB was leading and I really hate anything going wrong when Mrs EB is leading) I double checked everything as we did the rehearsal, what could wrong? Well it was something not even I could have thought of, a CD decides to start where it wants halfway through a verse? I had queued at the start of track 6, it has always played where it is queued from, so why should it do anything different? Stupid me. Then Curly did the taping and the CD of the Sermon wouldn't finalize?

I have never been so glad to get to the Bishop on a Sunday, which again was a really nice time, a pleasant crowd and a good beer, the perfect way to finish off a weekend.
Ohhh weeeee roll on next Sunday I am doing the sound again!!!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

A Sailors life for me?

At the age of 16 in January 1981 (yeah, yeah, yeah I know you weren’t born then ) I set off to HMS Rayleigh in Torpoint, Cornwall. I had Joined the Royal Navy…I passed out 6 weeks later an Official Junior Cook RN, I went to HMS Pembroke in Chatham, Kent. 6 Weeks later I was in Sutton Coldfield, I wasn’t cut out for a life on the ocean waves. I was home sick and totally miserable. But I gave it a shot. 6 weeks after I left the Navy war was declared against Argentina over the Falklands..I was then a full Royal Navy Reserve and could be called up at no notice…I am so glad they didn’t need a Junior Cook that badly.

Yes I am in that lot

Friday, November 24, 2006

Some Quotes that have made me laugh

Opera, just what is needed more Fat women screaming Frank Barone (Everybody loves Raymond)

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. Woody Allen

My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade. Harry Hill

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. Emo Philips

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. Emo Philips

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. Emo Philips

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck. Anonymous

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. Homer Simpson

Grrr customers and cats

I had a job come in from London C Yesterday…it was one of those nightmare jobs that has to be cleared by committee, sweet joy. I did the job as per the script, sent it off, 30 mins later get a phone call, can I just change….of course, then they want the way something is said changed, so I rerecord a line, no worries. Then they want the ending completely different? The problem with committee’s deciding is everyone feels they have to add something or why are they there? Now I will do anything I am being paid to make an advert, I enjoy doing my job, I just get a frustrated when I have to change something because some person on a committee feels the need to say something to make themselves feel important. In the end what only took me an hour to make actually took up a whole day and some of this morning, and I still don’t know if the advert has been cleared?

Well I have heard that I need to re-record the advert today because there has been a change on the committee today and the new committee or someone new wants something different? It is now 12:15pm but no script has arrived here? Oh well I am sure it will be just fine and the Voice Overs will be available and I will have enough time to finsih the job before it is due on air.

Well I have completely re-recorded the advert and re-mixed it and sent it off, after I got a phone call chasing it up!!!! LOL such fun I have have. I still have no idea if the advert is cleared though, I guess I am the last to know.

STOP PRESSS at 17:22 the notice came that the advert has cleared!!

Oh dear that was another rant sorry .....

On a lighter note

I was woken in the night by a very cold cat wanting a warm arm to lie on, it went something like this:-

A cold wet nose rubbed on my cheek and woke me, I heard a loud purring and Angus chirp, he doesn’t meow much but does make some amazing noises. I then get a paw on my cheek, so I raise my arm out of the bed he purrs so loudly I though the neighbours would hear him, I put my arm on the duvet and Angus goes over to it and lies down and goes to sleep within 10 seconds, me I am left wide awake for a good hour!!!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Recording and TV Programmes

Being in sound is quite possibly the best job in the world. I love tweaking and messing and hopefully solving problems and making things sound even better. I get some challenges that have stretched me to the end of my knowledge and I have asked for help in learning how to achieve something, that is good, it means I am still learning. I have the most amazing studio it’s based around Digidesign’s Pro Tools 7.1, which is the best software on the market and is used in about 99% of the worlds top recording Studio’s and Film and TV studio post production suites. So why do programmes like Spooks and the such like show the impossible?

Here’s a common scene, someone has recorded a telephone call onto a cassette or whatever media they recorded it onto, and they “Go to the Lab” a boffin in a white coat? Tweaks it for 30 seconds, then the PC or Detective will go can we just hear just the background noise, I think it’s a bloke with a limp walking past whistling something? And hey presto from a mixed piece of audio we now have a multi tracked piece of audio all recorded separately sounding as clear as anything?
Now when I record music and I record all the individual elements; I can then “Solo” one instrument (listen to just that item) If I buy a CD of music I can’t do that, even in my studio, I don’t have the component parts, it’s a finished mixed track, if I record a Telephone call, (illegal by the way without full permission from both parties or without a home office warrant) it is a mixed piece of audio even with the greatest knowledge in the world and the best equipment what they show on TV cannot be done, you cannot remove 1 frequency without removing everything else that is actually on that frequency, In the same way you cannot remove the eggs and flour from a baked cake, so to have just the bloke walking and whistling you would have to have recorded it separately!!!!! I am not saying I know everything about recording and how to do everything, but I do know what is actually possible to achive in the real world.
So stop messing with my head Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Some favourite pastimes:-

1. Eating Out
2. Going out for the day with Sheley
3. Going to the Theatre
4. Going for a beer
5. Having a BBQ

Again in no particular order I am game for any of them at anytime.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Deadliest Catch

I have been watching a programme on The Discovery Channel called the Deadliest Catch. It is amazing! it is true life on the edge stuff. These guys go out to Bearing Sea and Catch Crab, sounds easy doesn’t it? Mmmmm It is one of the deadliest jobs in the world! I had never even thought how crab gets in my sarnies really. Well these guys put to Sea in the Winter in enormous seas with swell of upto 15 metres with Ice growing faster on the boats than they can smash off. If they fall into the sea they have less than 2 minutes to be saved, which in all probability won’t happen…. Even the boats get swamped and sunk. These are very hard men with rules of their own. I have been riveted watching this series, I cannot think of a Job I would like do less than what these brave men do, but the pay can be fantastic, for a little over 4 weeks work one boat earned $600,000 and each member of the crew earned $45,000. To me it wouldn’t be worth it, but they are always looking for new crew members to replace to the ones who fall overboard.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Mmm The Perfect Christmas Present

Every year my Parents get Shelagh and I the perfect Christmas present, it is from Donald Russell, it is a meat Hamper Mmmmmmm meat. This year we have just received this years hamper it is two prime cuts of Venison...yes Venison some Wild Scotish Deer for Christmas. 2 amazing cuts a Fillet and a French cut rib joint. (I don't think Heidi will want any)

Angus helping when the hamper arrives

I am Still helping I am

Angus really wanted to get inside the hamper so I had to remove him

2 Amazing Joints

An old Joke for Tuesday

In July my Dad sent me this Joke; I passed it on to a few people Matt and Chris both loved it, so I thought I would share it with you wonderful people who read my Blog.

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, Wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

“I’m sorry,” he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, “but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday…”

“Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.”

Monday, November 20, 2006

Scenes from yester year

I have already posted some pictures of me as a youngster(click that link to take you to that earlier post) Well here is one of when I am about 3½ that will make my younger brother Peter about 2½ and my older brother Richard about 7. We are at Rachams Christmas Grotto in Birmingham in about 1968 visiting the "real" Father Christmas. I had just learned to wink. I remember being scared to death sitting on his knee, my head was always itching in that balaclava as well, my Nan used to knit us things like that all the time. I am sure it was a form torture that she inflicted on us because she wanted Granddaughters, if only she could have seen me yesterday in Church.

Sunday was slightly unusual

I went to church nervous. I had to set up and make a piece of equipment work that I don’t know, a telebalnce unit(it makes phone calls work through a sound desk)and I also had to do some acting.

Now the telebalnce unit was being a pain when I went early, it wouldn’t work, I had tested it Friday, but Sunday morning no joy. I prayed over it changed the fuse and it worked. It then turned off again!!!!! I changed the extension lead and it worked fine. Aimee was a star interviewing the Mission Kids and partners and that part of the service was excellent.

The other bit well. I don’t do "on the platform" at church. I stay behind the desk and do the sound and technical stuff. That is my gifting. So during the week my "Friend" Ed asked me if I would help out I said yes!!!
He asked if I would make him some pre-recorded news problem. Then a script arrives… I am playing Davina to Ed’s Edwina. So from not doing stuff upfront I am now playing a transvestite. Ho hummmmm no wonder I am scared!!! I think it went down well I wouldn’t say I enjoyed doing it, but I did have some fun. I did get a few comments all good, and one offer of a date.

I have pinched this off Aimee's blog.

After the service we went to The Vesey for a chat and drink, it was a really nice group last night, the time passed very quickly. It was really good to see Julia there my little Pixie friend. I may or may not post some more photo’s of Ju, she has also promised/threatend to start a blog Who knows I will look forward to reading it seeing the photo’s that appear on it.

Again it is Monday I have no plans for the working week I am all Gods.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Friday was slightly unusual; I had to pop up to Church to get a costume for Sunday Mmmmmm thanks Ed(wina) ....and no I won't wear what you picked out at the end.
I then had a call off the lovely Heidi to say she would like to pick me up!!!! Woooohooooo she drove me to Essen and then to hers, I changed some light bulbs and took up a threshold gripper rod. I then had to pop back to Church via Soundlogic to pick up a telebalance unit (it lets you put telephone calls through a mixing desk)..I got good old Taxi Heidi to take me and then home again as I needed some connectors from my studio. I then drove back to church and set it all up and tested it.
Shelagh went out to see Casino Royale last night I had a quiet night in with a few chocolates and my laptop.

Today we went into Birmingham along with everyone else in the world it felt like, we even bumped into Karen, Ed(wina), Shazney and Jonah (mmm thanks for the Donuts) we got a free Johnny Walker which was nice. The shops where just so full it was urghhh, anyhooo a nice quiet evening in with a coal fire a DVD and some nice snackz and then Church in the morning.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Whats in a Name?

Both of these where on the Skynews website today...
A James Bond fanatic has changed his name by deed poll to match his hero's - and used the title of all 21 films as his middle names.

David Fearn is now known as James Dr No From Russia With Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty's Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live And Let Die The Man With The Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View To A Kill The Living Daylights Licence To Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond
The 23-year-old council worker told The Daily Mirror he wanted to prove he was one of the world's biggest Bond fans.

"I can't wait for the first time somebody asks what my name is," he said
"This story just gets better and better, the plonker is from Birmingham...."

Article 2

A new generation of superheroes is on its way to save the world - thanks to mums and dads who are film fanatics. Records have shown two boys born in recent years have been named Superman. And six youngsters now answer to the name of Gandalf, after the wizard in The Lord Of The Rings. Other proud parents, presumably inspired by the silky football of Thierry Henry, have called their children Arsenal. Keira Knightley: Popular. Three families have named sons David Beckham - and 29 have named theirs Gazza. Golf-mad dads have apparently had their say too, with nearly 2,000 children named Tiger, according to the research of birth certificates since 1984 by family history website Rap stars Dr Dre, Tupac, Jay-Z and even Snoop Dogg have had children named after them. More predictably there have also been more than 6,000 Kieras - reflecting the rise of actress Kiera Knightley. Kylie is still a more popular name for girls, however, with more than 7,000 born in the past 22 years.

My Dad has a name the these sort of people and if you ask me nicley I may just tell you.

Yesterday was a mixed bag.

I had a little trip out with my video camera and Cath and Georgie, that was a really interesting time, seeing somewhere you know, but looking at it from a completely different point of view. We also visited the venue for the Christmas cabaret to see what sound and lighting they have. It really is a wonderful hall and hopefully it will be a fantastic evening of fun and frolics.

Afterwards I came home and a Job was waiting for me from London, which was excellent news, it also meant I could kill 2 birds with one stone!!!! Ed has written a sketch for Sundays service which needs a News reader sort of thing in it 3 times so I got the VO who was doing my advert to read it for me a favour. He really did a fantastic job it sounds very real. I have a small part to play on Sunday, but I am not saying what it is, if you don’t come along you will never know, and you will miss out.

Then it was a Church meeting, a very interesting meeting about the building project. I also recieved some photo's on my phone from a Reindeer at a Cliff concert, I hope he does a blog about it.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I had one of those trips to the NEC yesterday…it was for a trade show for my job. Yes I do work sometimes. It was called SBES (sound broadcast equipment show I think) I set off about 10 am as it opened and got there for 10:30ish. Parking was £7 !!!! what a laugh they are having at my expense. The show was OK a little smaller every year I think, I bumped into a few old friends and had a chat. I even bagged a bargain, well it was to me I don’t think anyone else would want it (a BBC SFX CD collection)

Then onto Mrs Freelancenerds…yes for the delivery of the two sofas that she was in no way having as they are leather!!! They look fantastic in her living room. Mr Freelancenerd had moved the amp and speakers into the back room earlier in the year for his laptop and Mrs FN wasn’t too sure how to rewire it all back up…I guess if I couldn’t do it there would be a few big smacks.

I watched Torchwood last night ….this is a cracking show…full of SFX good scripts and dark humour with an adult theme, well done BBC I say.

A few of my top Albums

1. Tubular Bells - Mike Oldfield
2. Bat Out of Hell - Meatloaf
3. SGT Peppers Lonely Heart Club Band - The Beatles
4. Pet Sounds - Beach Boys
5. Simon and Garfunkel Live at Central Park
6. Devotion / Adoration The Newsboys
7. Live at Leeds – The Who
8. Graceland - Paul Simon
9. In my life – George Martin

To choose a top 10 albums is far to hard as I love music and my tastes change with my mood these are just albums that get played a heck of a lot here on my IPod.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I have just read the latest post on Heidi's Blog and sat here in tears. I miss Matt and Chris so much. but it can't measure to how much Heidi must miss Matt or Steve Viv and Alan. In the weeks before Matt and Chris's accident I spoke to Matt a few times, not as much as usual as Matt was very busy with finishing off a couple projects. I only managed to speak to Chris a couple of times as well, my last convosation with Chris was about the service he had taken and I had made him a DVD he used for Allsorts (one of the small groups he started and had a massive heart for) and I also did the sound at that service. As usual he abused me and I abused him, he even mocked himself during that service about "What is normal" the daft bunny. Matt and I talked about some work he hoped he would get (in fact he would have got it) and how he would like to join the sound team recording the services. Matt had sat in one week when no one turned up and I had shown him what to do, he had really enjoyed it, then a few weeks later he sat in again but just as the service started the person turned up. Matt looked a little dissapointed. So we chatted and he was thinking of joining the team, this all happened a few just days before the accident. I flew out to Malta on the Thursday before and when I landed I had recieved a txt off Matt to ask for Prayer for the next day for the interview in Milton Keynes. I said a quick prayer then and there in the airport and txt'd back saying no worries and I would Pray. The last txt I got off Matt was to say the interview had gone really well and he was happy and everything was in God's hands. I have saved that txt on my phone and look at it often.
Alan and I do the sound together, and have a laugh, sometimes a little to loudly but it is hard not to laugh, when Mr Turnaround turns around for the 142nd time during the service (yes we did actually count during one service), OK sometimes we do force a cough to see if we can make him turn.... Or Baratone Boy sings so loudly we can't hear the mix properly. You do notice these things sat at the back in our raised sound booth though when we play spin on the chair it is all our own fault when we laugh to loudly.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

This has to be one of the funniest things ever

Right click and save tartget to your PC Funny Audio

This is from a Radio 2 NEWS Broadcast

It's all your fault, again

Mmmm I get the blame for everything!!!
Yesterday Mrs Freelancenerd and I went sofa shopping. Actually Mrs FN went sofa shopping I was her chauffer. We went to a large independant local shop in Erdington and Mrs FN found a wonderful sofa. Now I am not one moan or say anything out of turn….but…on entering the said shop, Mrs Freelancenerd proclaims “I am looking for two sofa’s…Mrs Teapot has seen one in here and said I need to look at it”, we did, it was very nice, comfy and did the job it is supposed to do. OK I thought job done. Pahhhh things are never that easy are they? "Lets have a look around" Mrs FN said. Cool, no probs. We looked around I saw a nice leather sofa, we sat in it, I don’t want leather Mrs FN says..we get up and look around some more, Mrs FN finds the most comfy leather sofa ever.... we sit and my eyes start to droop, Mrs FN said “I really like this, it’s all your fault EB!!! I don’t want leather, but this is perfect”!!! Now being a married bloke I am used to being blamed for most things in life, but for making a sofa too comfy that is a first.

Top Foods (main course)

1. Balti (anysort) with Chilli and Garlic Nann
2. Chinese Curry and Fried Rice
3. Fajitas
4. "Blue" Fillet Steak
5. Rare Roast Lamb, mashed spuds peas and mint sauce
6. Rare Roast Peppered Beef, roasties, mashed spuds, yorkshire puds and peas
7. Lobster Thermidor
8. Fish and Chips from the chippy by the seaside
9. Dominoes Pizza (meaty one with chillies)
10. A Donner Kebab with loads of chillie sauce

Again in no preference or order it all depends on the mood I am in

Monday, November 13, 2006

Yesterday was one of those days !!!

I am having problems with my stomach and have been for many years, it decided on Friday to start playing up, but I carried on just making the odd pit stop along the way of the day. Saturday it was being a pain, but I lasted until we returned from Gloucester. Yesterday ( Saturday night Sunday morning) I was woken by cramps at various times throughout the night. I managed Church, enjoyed the sermons, Donald was amazing again. The evening spoke to me in a few ways, maybe more about that later?

We popped to the Bishop and had a wonderful time , it was a big turnout and they always make for a good laugh, though by the time we left I was in a bit of pain. We stopped off for some food, a Chinese to share. I know Chinese isn’t the best for a bad stomach…I don’t care, the food in the Bishop is at best reheated cardboard…

so I had Chinese. Unfortunately I didn’t really get much sleep as the cramps and pains thought they would talk to me through the night, this is when Cats come into their own, I got up to pay a visit at around 2am, both cats where asleep on the bed. Purring and snoring away, I get up and then comeback, cats have vanished? I get into bed, stick on some headphones listen to a bit of Sci-Fi on BBC7 Bammm Bammmm two cats land on my upset stomach from off the floor. Both meowing, purring and wanting fuss I am holding back the tears of pain as they are now trying to walk over Mrs EB and wake her. I get them off Mrs EB and near or on me and settled down and sleeping and yes I am up again…It was like a perpetual cycle last night, no wonder cats sleep all day.

Anyhooo that was yesterday, ….Today is a new day and the start of a new working week.

I have nothing in or planned for the week, so God I am all yours.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

What do Reindeer Drink?

Well my beer for a start!!! and just work out who's hand is helping Robbie? Yes Mrs Freelancenerd

Saturday, November 11, 2006


Yesterday was a fun day!! Well maybe not fun but interesting.
The morning was spent making an advert for The London Company that hire my talents, which was excellent, I then went to Church to Friday Diner, and had a baked spud for lunch, very tasty. It was so busy again, well done Cath and Aimee.
From there it was over to Coleshill to Cube to help Christian update his studio Mac. He has never updated any software in the 2 years he has had it!!! I did the Mac Opperating System (OSX) software first then Pro Tools, this was a little more complicated that written. The OSX software was 10.3.6 he had bought 10.4.6 and current is 10.4.8 but the Mac isn’t on the internet, so I used the studio pc and the interwebnetty thing to search for the latest update. I then installed this and proved it working. Then onto Pro Tools, from 6.4 to V 7.0 that he bought then download 7.1 and update then down load 7.1.cs10. That took a very good 3+ hours, once done Pro Tools worked but his £5000+ Studio desk didn’t!!! He was a little scared and so was I. 1st thing, turn it off, turn all the hardware off restart everything. Everything working but the desk. The desk talks to the software and the other hardware via Ethernet on the Mac and is very clever and a beautiful piece of kit. The next thing was check the hardware off the Mac,. Nope that looks fine. So being the anorak I am, I log into Google so I have my front page, there is a nerdlink to the Pro Tools Discussion website. I type the desk Control 24 and no Ethernet connection? The first page says try this ....I do and bam working like a dream.

So I go home and Mrs EB and I go to Star City and la Tasca for tea. All in all a enjoyable and busy day.
My favourite sweets

1. Flake
2. Cadburys Dairy Milk
3. Picnic
4. Starbar
5. Old Jamaica Chocolate Bar

Again these are in no particular order and if they where put in my hand I would relish anyone of them.

You will see no Nestle product is there, as I try never to buy or eat Nestle Products due to their baby milk sales in the 3rd world and unfair trading of coffee and cocoa beans, and no Galaxy chocolate as I think it tastes very slimey and awful.

Friday, November 10, 2006

A smile from TV

I saw the Catherine Tate show last night and found some of it very funny the one bit really did make me laugh, I don’t know the characters name, it’s the Am I Bovvered one anyhooo.

Well she is in a burger bar and her boy boyfriend has asked her to go steady or marry her, I am still not sure, but she said yes, and it was a joke…. So you can guess, her friend is being sympathetic and she's all... Am I bovvered? ….

Then she goes:-..... Look at my face..bovvered..NO!!…Do you read with your fingers? Do you listen to Books? Is your Dad David Blunket? Can you walk your dog in Marks and Spencer? I didn’t hear the rest I was laughing to loudly.

Anyhoo to make Ed happy I thought I would do a list of my favourite current TV shows

1. The Bill (ITV)
2. Dr G Medical Examiner (Discovery H&L)
3. Mythbusters (Discovery)
4. American Chopper (Discovery)
5. The Simpsons (SkyOne)
6. The First 48 (Discovery Crime)
7. Everybody Loves Raymond (Paramount Comedy)
8. Torchwood (BBC3/BBC2)
9. King of Queens (Paramount Comedy)
10. FBI Files (Discovery)

Now they are in no relevant order as it depends on the mood I am in.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I have been giving my whole spiritual life a great deal of thought over the last 7+ weeks, well my faith has been rocked and I want to know why? I have never doubted Jesus or God, so why I do feel just so useless and incapable of understanding God and my Bible?

Anyhoo this has got me to thinking seriously about Heaven will I go to Heaven? just what is heaven, is it fluffy clouds and people sitting on them playing harps…I hope not as Chris and Matt would deafen everyone up there…is heaven up there? If not where is it?

A few/quite a few years ago I was at a seminar on Revelation’s where the speaker, I can’t remember his name now, said that Heaven would be here on earth when everything was completed and the final battle had taken place? I don’t know, that was his interpretation on Revelation? My interpretation is, God has already made Heaven, and it is waiting for us, everyone will wake up and be given new bodies on judgement day and we the faithful will be called to Glory, or do we go the moment we are taken from this life? Time is only a concept that we have put on things? God does things in his own time so I don’t know? There will be no suffering only love and worship in Heaven, we will be with our God and loved ones and know them and share that eternal time with them we will meet those that went before us and those that will come after us. I could be completely wrong, I guess there is only way we will know, and by then we won’t care, as we will hopefully with God’s grace be in Heaven or will I?...

It seems kind of daft writing this. It is just bugging me, I have been woken quite a few times by the question what is after this life, are we here then not is heaven real if it is will I go? I guess Satan is trying to undermine my faith and writing it down is helping to confirm my belief in God and strengthening it. Seeing/feeling my life rocked like this, and finding worship virtually impossible at the moment is scary. I have been a Christian for 20 years now, and up until this point I have never questioned the basics, I have taken those for granted. I still do I guess, Christ Lived, Christ Died and Christ rose again. But I have so many questions, but I just don’t know what they all are, or who to ask? I don’t want to seem like an idiot with basic questions on my faith having been a Christian for so many years. I know the basic answers it’s the deep theological answers I am after I think? I think I need to speak to someone I respect as a Christian, but then I don’t want to come across as a complete idiot?

I spoke to a friend who is a adamant Calvinist and I just thought, no that is so wrong! What’s the point of evangelism if you are a Calvinist? He said because you have to tell everyone but only those who are already saved will be saved? So I said if they are already saved they don’t need saving? I really do get myself in a state sometimes. I just can’t believe in pre-destination, more so since the accident.

I am quiet confused as this suggests. I know some answers but I am still confused with things like, I am saved, it says so in the Bible, so if I am saved and I know I am saved, why then am I not certain I am going to Heaven? Because it also says I must lead a good life and do things like be evangelical and Christ like, which makes Heaven conditional? I am just a ordinary bloke who falls every day. I don’t burn with a passion to tell everybody about Christ, I don’t help everyone who needs help who I see, in fact I even avoid some people. I am selfish and materialistic, I like the nice things in life I even enjoy occasionally getting drunk and I love eating even over eating.(that last one’s a real shocker)

I am not expecting answers here, it is just cathartic to write down my thoughts and feelings. I know the answers to my questions will come when I ask the right person/people. I just need to be prayerful to find who the right person is.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

So what’s been a happening?

Monday I took Heidi into Birmingham as she had a meeting, so I did a little window shopping (no not for windows) but for jeans, I couldn’t find any I like, then Heidi and I went and did a little shopping, by the time we had finished I was shattered.

Tuesday was a day I did some paper work and did some pricing for some work for Simon in Kenya, in the evening was a curry quiz night, a wonderful evening, Dr Spooner was amazing, I could listen to David talk all night, our team of 3 did the first 7 rounds then David joined us for the last 3 rounds we came 3rd...not bad as the teams that beat us had 6 and 8 in them.

Today I was at hospital getting seen by a consultant Dr Singh, I have to go back again in January. That’s about it really, bit boring but I guess that’s life.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Bonfire Weekend

This weekend was eventful.
I have Reindeer Flu and have been dosed up on cough/flu medication, so I have only had the odd glass of wine or tinny of beer. Though I had a wonderful if not cold time.
Martin and Lou

Lou, Martin, Heidi and Dom

Amy Viv, Steve and Big Al


Saturday was spent preparing for Sat Evening, a top time with friends here at our house/garden for a fireworkless party, but as our garden is well placed and the decking is up high we got to see hundreds of them for free. The food was well eaten and not much was left, and a good time was had.

Elfie & Cath playing with Sparklers martin was Sparkler Monitor


Dave, Skip, Andi and Phil enjoing a chat

Shelagh enjoying her sparkler

Sunday... was Church, mmmm The morning was excellent it was a Parade service and was about Bible Explorers and was a top service, the evening was Tommy Cannon and Chris Gidney. Tommy Cannon was a famous comedian with Bobby Ball in the 70’s and early 80’s . He and Chris sort of told his story, it could have been excellent with scripting and a little rehearsal, I was there from 4:30 for this purpose? Tommy Cannon got lost with Sat Nav so that didn’t happen. Chris did a little comedy(?) First as a warm up and told the worst jokes(?) Ever finishing with a card with a naff drawing of a black baby that was supposed to be Shirley Bassey??? Would have been great in the 1960’s . Then Cannon came out and started well, and went on to slag off the Church, Vicars and Amy and her nice new cardie? How to win friends and influence people? Amy and music group did a wonderful job and sang a wonderful song to lead us into worship...shame it went downhill after the guests came on.

It's a Firework Pixie

Would you trust this man to set and light Fireworks?

We Did!

Julia enjoying the Fireworks

Then onto Aaron’s for fireworks... a nice end to the evening/weekend watching some fireworks with friends, Aaron and Martin setting them off and us watching to see if they were going to blow us/themselves and the garden up.

Did that "JOKE" and "THAT WORD" really come out of her sweet mouth?

All in all a great weekend, now I need to get some more cough syrup doon me neck.