Feelings

Anyhooo how do I really feel about all of this then? well I am feeling many things...I feel relieved that I now have a diagnosis, I feel depressed I have a lifelong condition that will get worse as I get older, I am very tired as my BS is high, I am cheesed off I can't get my BS to lower no matter what I eat. I am angry with myself for not putting 2 + 2 together and asking about diabetes a few years ago. I am usually very quick to work out ailments and things in medical programmes on TV , but I couldn't see it in myself. Plus a load of other emotions are running around in my head.

Having read loads about diabetes on the internet and friends like Summerset Bob sending me articles to read I feel I am pretty up on the condition. Two and a half weeks ago I knew diabetes = no sugar ever unless you went hypoglycaemic , or hypo.

I have told my friends and family about the diabetes and the usual reaction is ...really...then, it's; what can't you eat now? so I say sweets and sugar at the moment but once my blood sugar is under control I can eat anything really as long as I don't overdo things.

I have read it is best to avoid sugar as it will spike my blood, but I can have say, an after dinner mint or two after a meal, they will not kill me, as some people tend to think. Most people with diabetes avoid sugar as it tends to send the blood hyperglycaemic or hyper, so I will do the same 99% of the time. Alcohol is another thing, people are saying "No more alcohol" with authority...not at all, that was one of the first questions I asked, and I was told my consumption of alcohol was fine. I usually have a couple of pints on a Sunday and maybe a glass of wine with a meal in the week. Alcohol lowers the blood sugar and can bring on a hypo (a hypo can look like drunkenness, it has some similar symptoms, slurred speech, loss of coordination, and can bring on sleep, which can quickly lead to a coma, so it is always good to have someone with you who can spot the symptoms. Having a mars bar or a biscuit or two can quickly bring you round or so my book says)

It is all about having a balanced diet not too much of anything really. I cannot eat sugar at all at the moment as my BS level is very high, but I can have Splanda (a sugar substitute) so I can eat my porridge in the mornings. I have been told to lower my calorie intake, which I am doing and I do need to do a little more exercise (well some would be good) So I have a little walk into Boldmere and things like that.

I am not being beaten by a big stick about what I can and cannot have, but I am now being careful and it is very hard at times. I was saying too Team Leader yesterday after a funeral, evenings are the hardest, sitting down and relaxing watching a TV programme I just fancy a bar of something...so now I have a peach or an apple. It is like smoking and breaking the habit I guess and using will power, so far I have been able to do that and hopefully like breaking the smoking habit I soon wont crave chocolate as much.