John 12:24 (The Message)
24"Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over".
This verse have been mentioned many times over the past few weeks; I have found it very encouraging and prophetic .
We had a thanksgiving service for Chris at Sutton on Saturday and it was beautiful and so well attended, and Sunday was a reflective and amazing day at church, but I do have to say I am so drained and tired. I was on sound both Saturday and Sunday and by Sunday evening I was not in a place in my head to receive a whole lot out of the service. Then the Bulgaria Mission team got up and spoke, 7 young members of our Church. It was humbling and made me think and LISTEN!!!! It was excellent hearing 15-17 years on fire and full of The Spirit and raring to go, and as Mrs EB said they speak from the heart not the brain so it sounds fantastic and genuine.
My emotions have been out for all to see and in full use for two weeks now, and I just don’t think I have the energy for anything else. I think these last few weeks have taught me an amazing amount about myself and others I love and care about, it has rocked my faith to the core, and built some of it back up, a little stronger, though I think I do need to talk a few through things. Only natural I guess, as I will grow and a be a stronger and hopefully a wiser Christian. I can’t ask yet as I don’t know the questions and the people I would have asked are in Glory…irony…excellent….just what I need as I write my thoughts.
I do have someone I can talk too, a very good friend and wise Man of God, Ian who has been there for me a few years ago when I needed someone a few times a week to talk through a whole mess I had got myself into, and Via Chris; Ian and his wife where there for me. Ian has offered his time to me again, I was very touched and grateful. I just need to let my brain start working again and get those questions sorted.
Today I am starting back at work, slowly at first as I am taking the afternoon off to take Heidi out to meet her Dad, and I think I need to do a big shop also I don’t have any work in yet. I also have lost a sense of time and days of the week, I have been so busy and doing so much rushing around and spending so much time in Church everyday has sort of melted into one big day and has sort of felt like a Sunday and time has meant nothing really. So I need to get my brain back into BST and Monday to Friday.