Some Quotes that have made me laugh

Opera, just what is needed more Fat women screaming Frank Barone (Everybody loves Raymond)

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. Woody Allen

My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade. Harry Hill

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. Emo Philips

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. Emo Philips

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. Emo Philips

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck. Anonymous

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. Homer Simpson